My friend keeps saying to me, “cheer up! It could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!” I know he means well…
An elderly couple, married as childhood sweethearts, had recently moved back to the old neighbourhood. Holding hands, they walked to their old school and found the old desk where Jerry had carved ‘I love Sally’. [continue…]
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. And it steel wooden whistle. Then I bought a lead whistle. It steel wooden lead me whistle. Finally, I bought [continue…]
A bike mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop, who was there waiting for the service manager to take a look [continue…]
A manager of a large office asked a new employee to come into his office. “What’s your name?” was the first thing the manager asked. “John,” the new guy replied. The manager scowled. “Look, I [continue…]
Two elderly couples were out for coffee one afternoon, enjoying a conversation together, when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?” “Oh, it was [continue…]
Did you hear about the two radio antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent!
Patient: This hospital is no good. You treat us like dogs! Nurse: You know that’s not true. Now be a good boy and roll over.
A pilot landed his plane with a rather bumpy landing. As he stood by the door saying goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane, he was afraid that someone might say something about [continue…]
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train a person to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish three times a day.
A man visits a psychiatrist because he seems to have problem getting things done lately. The psychiatrist asks, “Do you have trouble making decisions?” “Yes and no,” the man replies.
A grandmother took her five-year-old grandson to the ballet. The boy had never seen a ballet before and watched the ballerinas prance around on their toes. After the show was over, the grandmother asked the [continue…]
Two guys are riding in a car, arguing about how to pronounce the name of the city they are in. One said “Louieville”, the other “Lewisville.” They came upon a fast-food restaurant, went inside and [continue…]
How did they lose their jobs? The comedy writer was laughed out of the business. The personal trainer handed his walking papers. The lingerie sales associate was given a pink slip. The stop sign printer [continue…]