If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Job Interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Candidate: “Well, personally, I think my greatest weakness may be my listening skills.”
Whilst visiting the local zoo, I came upon a large enclosure that held several loaves of pumpernickel, rye, sourdough, flax, and multigrain. The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity!
My friend keeps saying to me, “cheer up! It could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!” I know he means well…
Did you hear about the two radio antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent!
Patient: This hospital is no good. You treat us like dogs! Nurse: You know that’s not true. Now be a good boy and roll over.
A man visits a psychiatrist because he seems to have problem getting things done lately. The psychiatrist asks, “Do you have trouble making decisions?” “Yes and no,” the man replies.