The Lighter Side

Master of Any?

I’ve tried my hand working many different trades. First, I tried professional fishing, but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income. Then I worked in a shoe factory. I [continue…]

The Lighter Side

Home, home on…derange?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

The Lighter Side

What’s that you say?

Job Interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Candidate: “Well, personally, I think my greatest weakness may be my listening skills.”

The Lighter Side

D’oh!

Whilst visiting the local zoo, I came upon a large enclosure that held several loaves of pumpernickel, rye, sourdough, flax, and multigrain. The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity!

The Lighter Side

Dig this one!

My friend keeps saying to me, “cheer up! It could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!” I know he means well…

The Lighter Side

He’s losing it!

An elderly couple, married as childhood sweethearts, had recently moved back to the old neighbourhood. Holding hands, they walked to their old school and found the old desk where Jerry [continue…]

The Lighter Side

Whistle while it works!

I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. And it steel wooden whistle. Then I bought a lead whistle. It steel wooden lead [continue…]

The Lighter Side

What’s in a name? Well…

A manager of a large office asked a new employee to come into his office. “What’s your name?” was the first thing the manager asked. “John,” the new guy replied. [continue…]

The Lighter Side

What’s in a name…?

Two elderly couples were out for coffee one afternoon, enjoying a conversation together, when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to [continue…]

The Lighter Side

Off to a static free start!

Did you hear about the two radio antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent!

The Lighter Side

‘Ruff’ treatment!

Patient: This hospital is no good. You treat us like dogs! Nurse: You know that’s not true. Now be a good boy and roll over.

The Lighter Side

Come fly with me!

A pilot landed his plane with a rather bumpy landing. As he stood by the door saying goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane, he was afraid that [continue…]

The Lighter Side

He’s a loafer!

Psychiatrist: Why have you come to see me? Patient: Oh, my family sent me. They think I’m nuts because I love shoes. Psychiatrist: How petty of them! Why, I myself [continue…]

The Lighter Side

Well, which is it?!

A man visits a psychiatrist because he seems to have problem getting things done lately. The psychiatrist asks, “Do you have trouble making decisions?” “Yes and no,” the man replies.

The Lighter Side

Digging up laughs!

Two second graders were in a museum looking at a mummy. At the bottom of the mummy case was a sign that read “1286 B.C.” “What does that mean?” asked [continue…]

The Lighter Side

He toe-tally gets it!

A grandmother took her five-year-old grandson to the ballet. The boy had never seen a ballet before and watched the ballerinas prance around on their toes. After the show was [continue…]