On Raising Childen – you spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk, then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be quiet!
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A grasshopper walks into a bar…
The bartender says, “Hey, did you know we have a drink named after you?” The grasshopper looks at the bartender and says, “You have a drink named Eric?”
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He’s a loafer!
Psychiatrist: Why have you come to see me? Patient: Oh, my family sent me. They think I’m nuts because I love shoes. Psychiatrist: How petty of them! Why, I myself am very fond of shoes. [continue…]
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He said, she said!
A husband and wife went to see a marriage counselor. “Here’s the problem,” the husband said. “We’ve been married 10 years. For the last eight, we haven’t been able to agree on anything.” The counselor [continue…]