A grandmother remarked to her granddaughter as she came in from playing in the mud. “You’re pretty dirty, sweetheart.” “I know grandma,” the granddaughter agreed, “but I’m even prettier clean!”
Tom: My wife is so modest. Jerry: How modest is she? Tom: She’s so modest, she goes into a closet to change her mind.
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Job Interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Candidate: “Well, personally, I think my greatest weakness may be my listening skills.”
Whilst visiting the local zoo, I came upon a large enclosure that held several loaves of pumpernickel, rye, sourdough, flax, and multigrain. The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity!