By Martha Morgan
– There are pictures of me all over Canada, and who knows where else. Not as many as the Queen’s, but quite a few over a lifetime.
There are probably pictures of you in distant places too, in a group or alone in front of some landmark, taken by people who promised to send you a copy as soon as the film was developed. They asked for your address in all sincerity but the pictures never arrived.
Along the same lines, the books you lent people are more likely to take up permanent residence on their shelves than to find their way back to yours. And at some point, you’re likely to come across one or more you didn’t return either.
There may be, momentarily, a resolution to restore it to its rightful owner, but all recollection of who that owner is has long gone.
Something else that is unlikely to happen is the lunch you actually believe you will have with the old friend you run in to while shopping.
“Let’s do lunch sometime,” one of you says. What fun it will be to talk over old times, bring each other up-to-date on family news, have a good chat.
“Let’s do lunch” is a close cousin to “We must get together soon.”
When you open a new box of breakfast cereal you will expect to see it full of cereal. It won’t be. The top third of the box will be empty.
If you are a new grandparent, you may believe that you will cooperate with the adored one’s parents in maintaining discipline and adhering to its established routine when it visits you. This will not happen.
You will ignore the clock while you join it on the chesterfield to watch a video of its choice and you will not notice that popcorn and cookie crumbs are being ground into the carpet. When the visit is over you will send it home with toys that regularly need new batteries.
This is supposed to be a humour column, and should generate a chuckle or two. That probably won’t happen either.
