The Lighter Side

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him.

Ted: My wife’s taking a winter holiday to the West Indies. Fred: Jamaica? Ted: Not at all, she wanted to go.

A kindergarten teacher handed out a colouring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to colour the duck yellow and the umbrella green, [continue…]

Student: “My mother and father got married on the same day, at the same time!”

They sit down at a table in a bar and order drinks. The first vampire says, “I vant some blood!” The second vampire says, “I vant some blood, too!” The third vampire says, “Just plasma [continue…]

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? I’ll never part with it.

Harry, a successful businessman, owed it all to his mother, now an eldery widow. For her birthday, he decided to get her something really special – a trained parrot who could sing grand opera. The [continue…]

I almost got married a few times, but unfortunately they were only near-Mrs.

Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Q. What is the main reason for divorce? A. Marriage.

Why are there no mausoleums in Prague? Because the undertakers there refuse to cache Czechs!

Dear Helena: Hi, Hawaii! I’ve been Suffern from a vague Malaysia from all this Russian around. I’m weak Indonesia and Congo on much longer. Otherwise, Havana good time. Alaska doctor about it when I return Nome. [continue…]

with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up. “Oh! We’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained. “He was a communications major in college, and [continue…]

Said one fellow: “Do you realize that my living room furniture goes all the way back to Louis the 14th?” “That’s nothing,” said the other. “My couch goes all the way back to the department [continue…]

A man walks into a nearly empty bar, sits down, and orders a drink. He’s sitting alone at the end of the bar, sipping away, when he hears a faint voice. “Nice shirt,” the voice [continue…]

The bartender says, “Hey, did you know we have a drink named after you?” The grasshopper looks at the bartender and says, “You have a drink named Eric?”

The urge to sing the song “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is never more than a whim away.

A family was having dinner one night when the little boy said, “Dad, I don’t like the holes in this cheese!” “Well, son,” replied his dad, “just eat the cheese and leave the holes on [continue…]

There was once a couple named Nancy and Mike Tate, and it was their life’s dream to have a compass company. They saved money and started the Tate’s Compass Company. Luck was with them, for [continue…]

You know you’re getting older when there’s nothing left to learn the hard way!