A Farmer’s Dream

From our April 2012 issue

By Lloyd Johnson, Penticton, B.C.

Now the other night I had a nightmare,
I had the most horrible dream.
See, I dreamt my range flooded over
And my calves got all washed down the stream.

Saw the old bull and the heifer,
And I saw a cow and a calf.
They were out walking on water,
Which seemed like a mile-and-a-half.

Then I saw something real silly,
Something that I’d never seen.
I swore that I had gone to a movie,
And a cartoon came up on the screen.

For the calf was out waterskiing
And the old cow was driving the rig.
The bull was pickin the banjo
And the heifer was doing the jig.

And the old milk cow was out yodelling
On the banks of the river that night.
I’ll never forget it as long as I live,
My God, what a beautiful sight.

The old dog was acting real sulky
And was carrying on like a brat.
He said, “I’d would never have chased that ol’ milk cow,
“If I knew she could yodel like that.”

The rooster was out running a haybine,
An old hen was working the rake.
And the chicks were moving the water-guns
We irrigate out of the lake.

The tomcat was fixing the one ton,
The little cat putting in shocks.
A woodpecker was picking up roots
And the little peckers were pickin up rocks.

The old boar was out cultivating,
The old sow was looking for him.
The dogs were falling trees in the woodlot,
The puppies were piling the limbs.

But imagine, I go tell the banker,
My calves have all washed away.
He won’t think it’s funny that I have no money,
and there is just no way I can pay.

But when he gets ready to pass out,
I will tell him it’s just a bad dream.
My calves are all home and healthy as hogs,
And they’re all lying down by the stream.

Now I don’t expect you to believe this
And I don’t even know what you will think.
But I seen it all there in my very own dream,
And I didn’t have one drop to drink.