Two archeologists exploring a remote mountain in Tibet came across a huge giant statue which resembled a sitting man. It stood almost 400-feet tall, and its bodily details were accurate down to the fingernails and [continue…]
Two old friends, Stan and Dan, meet up on the street on day and get to catching up with one another. While chatting, Stan starts lamenting on a recent disagreement he had with his wife. [continue…]
A man goes to his dentist because something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, “Holy Smokes! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly [continue…]
People are putting up so many lights on their houses at Christmas these days, you don’t know if they’re celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
A lady lost her purse in the bustle of Christmas shopping. A young boy found it and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she remarked: “That’s funny. When I lost my purse there was [continue…]
Men, when you consider Christmas, you learn there are 4 stages in life: 1) You believe in Santa; 2) You don’t believe in Santa; 3) You are Santa; and 4) You look like Santa. Ho! [continue…]
Not long ago, a man was sent to a minimum security prison to serve his sentence. During his incarceration, he got along with the guards and inmates, so the warden made arrangements for the man [continue…]
Reaching the end of a job interview, the interviewer asks the applicant what starting salary they were looking for. The applicant replied, “In the region of $130,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” “Well, [continue…]
A drill sergeant was putting the new recruits through their paces during basic training. He had them awake and marching before sunrise, had them doing pushups until exhaustion, and was always barking orders at them. [continue…]
A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender he’s got something amazing to show him. From his coat pocket he pulls out a tiny piano and chair. From another pocket he brings out [continue…]
A friend recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I asked him more about it, he said he could stop any time.
A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called 911 and gave his address to report the prowlers and possible burglary that was in progress. The 911 operator at [continue…]
A man was pulled over for running a stop sign. When the police offer checked the man’s driver’s license, he said, “You’re wearing glasses in your ID photo and you’re not now. I’m going to [continue…]
An 80-year-old man went to see his doctor about pain in his one knee. The doctor examined it gently and said, “Well, you know…your knee is 80 years old. You can’t expect too much from [continue…]
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
At the dinner table one night, a boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs safe to eat?” “Don’t talk about such disgusting things like that over dinner,” the dad admonishes. After dinner the father asks, [continue…]
Salesclerk: This machine will do half the work for you. Customer: Sounds wonderful! I’ll take two!
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
James was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to [continue…]
On Raising Childen – you spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk, then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be quiet!
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